Vignette 1: Benton City & Spokane

I kind of live in the country, just on the outside of Benton City. So, I really never get involved with Benton City itself. I'm more involved with like the Kennewick, Richland, Pasco area, the part of the Tri-Cities. Yeah, I go to our local P-FLAG or Pride, you know, in the park events and so forth. So, I'm connected to the community in that aspect. So, but I think I'm the ... I'm kind of in the older group, I guess, being my age and in my profession too so. But yeah, that's kind of what my connection is in the community. And like I've ... you're already aware, and I kind of touched on, I've been an attorney for 22 years. I lived in Spokane, and I've been down here for the last 15, and I work for the state. So, I went to law school in Spokane, so I stayed there and had my own practice. Then I came down here in 2008 and it was when I accepted a job with the state, with the DSHS and it was located down here. So, and I got family down in this area and in the Northeastern Oregon area, so it was closer to them. I like Spokane and I miss it. I wish I could go back there, but a practical standpoint ... With my practice there, at one point, I was the prosecutor in in Ritzville, in Adams County, so I commuted an hour each way from Spokane to Ritzville and back each day, and then I got tired doing that after about a year and a half. And then I saw a job that was down here and then housing is very affordable down here compared to Spokane. Took advantage of that. We've been here since then. [Griff Tester] What is it about Spokane that you miss? [TS] Well, I had my office downtown and it was easy to walk to the federal courthouse, to the state courthouse, and my apartment was about the same distance away as the courthouse is, about a 15-minute walk. So, it was convenience and there just seemed like a lot more to do up there. It's just generally like between shopping, restaurants, just events going on that they would put on and so forth. So, I like the environment. 

Vignette 2: Transitioning at Work

I started transitioning in I think it was 2016. And I was married at the time, and there was some issues going on in the marriage and it was kind of on its way out. So, I just decided I wasn't gonna wait till I was older. I was gonna do it then. So, I started that. And that's when I was down in the Tri-Cities already working for the state. So, and I have some friends around here that kind of encouraged me. My paralegal at work actually encouraged me quite a bit. And she was cis gender. So, I just, I remember I sent an e-mail out to everyone that was in this region. I was region one then, which is everything east of the Cascades. I sent a general e-mail out just telling everyone this is what I'm doing, and this is my new name and my pronouns and went from that. Everyone was pretty much fine with it. I'd already kind of started to transition a little bit at work and told a few people what I was doing. The e-mail, I had some responses back to me personally that they were happy for me and so forth, and I would say, generally, I mean we get kind of a high turnover, so there's probably 40 to 50% of people that work there now that didn't know me before but know that I'm transgender. But the response was pretty positive. There was a little bit of throwback, push back, some harassment issues, but it was just like less than five people, you know, out of the whole east side here that had that. And I'm sure there's some, you know, behind my back that have issues with it. But there's only about I think 5 that actually confronted me on issues and made issues out of that from the transitioning, how I want to be referred to and using the bathroom seemed to be the big issue. Like I said, there is probably five, I think five people that really kind of threw a fit and caused me some issues at first, and, you know, a couple of those were in higher management, so. You know, but we're still working on that stuff. 

Vignette 3: Support at Work

With my paralegal, you know, we interacted a lot closer than probably most people because we worked on case and stuff together, and she was one of these that was very rough around the edges. She said... no filter on her mouth, she said what she thought, you know, and she was kind of like that "either crap or get off the toilet," you know, sort of attitude. So that was, you know, she gave me that little push, but there were other people and some that I didn't know were part of the LGBTQ community that once they knew I was transitioning, came out and asked me if I needed help with anything. If anyone bothered me to let them know. There's a few, what I call ... a few of the Mama bears that kind of took me under the wing, too. But you know even, even like some of the cisgender women, they would offer me makeup tips they have sometimes they, you know, like I got ... used to like, and I still kind of wear, like pink lipstick is my favorite color. So, some of them would have brighter colors. They'd say, "Hey, I bought this and it's not the type I want. Do you want it?" I said, "Sure." But you know, they give me a lot of the makeup tips, and some would kind of tease me a little bit. They said, you know, "You better not look better than us or, you know, we'll trip you when you're walking or something." And they'd laugh about it. But yeah, they were, you know, very supportive. 

Vignette 4: Deciding to Transition

I know two people and I met them through P-FLAG, actually. I was the co-chairperson of P-FLAG like about, I think, in 2017 and so I met them. Yeah, I mean, I was at that turning point where I started attending meetings at the support group and stuff and that kind of help. There's people that encouraged me to. But then that's when I, like I said, I had some other events happen in my life. My ... the mother of my children... I have two children. Their mother had passed away, and then the current marriage I was in was just ... it was getting very abusive, even before I had basically stated that's going to transition. And I just kind of took stock of my life and thought, you know, I was in my 50s at that point ... I thought, I don't want to reach my 70s or 80s and look back thinking, "Oh, I wish I would have done something." So, I just ... It kind of gives you a sense that. you know, my saying is live life to the fullest today because tomorrow's not guaranteed. So, I just decided to do that and I was very glad I did. I think it's something I realized for many years. My marriage at that time, which was my second marriage, she had known that, you know ... they didn't call it in the beginning ... We'd been together almost 22 years. In the beginning, it wasn't referred to as being transgender and all that. They had different terms, And ... but she knew that I was this way before we got married and she was fine with it. But it was when I decided to go public that she freaked out about it. And felt that, she felt that I was embarrassment to her. But my first ex-wife had died in 2013. And then, from pancreatic cancer, and in 2014 I lived in Italy, I had a fiance there, we were going to get married. But that didn't work out. But we still stayed, stayed in contact. She died in 2014 from pancreatic cancer. And I think that's kind of I realized that, you know, I looked at my situation and with the current marriage becoming more and more abusive, I thought this is no way to live my life. And, you know, I want to be happy. So that's why I ... 2016 was when I realized ... I think one of the other trans women that was in the P-FLAG group that was, had been taking hormones and stuff. And I talked with her quite a bit and she suggested, you know, you want to start taking hormones and all that. And I thought, "Well, yeah, I better." It's like a lot of things in life, you always say, "Yeah, I'm going to do this," and you put it off. And then time passes and like, I thought, "No, I'm going to do it right now." So, I started that process. 

Vignette 5: Gender Care

In the beginning it was quite easy. In the last two years it's kind of been a struggle, but locally here, my primary care physician, who I told I was transitioning and taking hormones. He was from old school, but you know, bless his heart, he basically says, "I don't understand any of this," but he says, "I'm trying to educate myself, read up on it." He retired a couple years ago, but I also had an endocrinologist that was very supportive, got me started on the hormones. You know, locally ... Well, then, like I said, my primary care physician retired. So, then the next PCP that ... the gender care was actually in Spokane, so I had ... every once in a while, I had to make a visit up there. Well, then the endocrinologist down here in Tri-Cities left his practice. There was some issues between him and his employer, so he left, and my insurance didn't cover it anymore. So, then I was able to use the PCP in Spokane as the endocrinologist and gender care, too, but now she's left for a year to go overseas. So, I've been... it's trouble now trying to find someone who does gender care. The hormones issue ... taking the hormones isn't so much the big issue, it's the actual gender care, because I've had all the surgeries, the top and bottom surgery. And trying to get someone who knows about gender care concerning monitoring the hormone levels, the pelvic exams, and all of that. It's been kind of difficult lately and it's almost on the verge of where they've suggested a few times it might be easier for me to find someone in Seattle. Like, well, it's like a four-hour drive away one way and I'm like, you know, even though you can do some video conferences, there's also where you have to be there in person for examinations. So, in the beginning, it was fairly easy. Lately, probably I'd say for the last year and a half, it's started getting difficult. Just having access to the care, finding someone who is knowledgeable on gender care. You know, there's some that say they are, but they're not. About eight months ago, I went for my first pelvic exam post-surgery with the non-surgeon, not the surgeon. Someone else. And their comment was when I went in there, they said, "Yeah, I do gender care and work with transgender people," but she made the comment, she says I was the first person that they'd seen a vaginoplasty done. And she didn't know how to even do a pelvic exam. And I finally, I had her stop, and I had an appointment that day, follow up appointment with my surgeon for the top surgery that I had like 3 months earlier. So, he did the public exam for me there. He said, "Oh, I'll go ahead and do it." But you know you have a doctor who said, "Yeah, I'm trained in gender care. I know this," and they really didn't. They were just saying that because I think it was kind of like the position, you know, they're the main headquarter say, hey, you want to do this and like, "Yeah, sure. I'll do it." It's like, well, yeah, you just can't say that. You got to know what you're doing. So, I felt, you know, I thought with me being there, they should have seen at least someone prior to me that was also transgender and had the surgery, but ... So, you know, it's just, even if they say they do gender care, it's not necessarily they know what they're doing. 

Vignette 6: P-Flag, A New World

What sticks in my mind ... someone asking me about what kind of LGBTQ groups were in this area. I said, "I don't think there's any." But then Googled something and it brought up the P-flag and I saw they had a support group. So, you know, other ... prior to that, I wasn't really connected with anyone in that community here. Or was even aware that they were here. You know, you hear about, yeah, they have them in Seattle and some in Spokane. But after I started attending PFLAG support group and then I became a board member, then I became the chairperson for a year. It's like it, it opened up this whole new world. I'm like, oh, well we also have the Pride Foundation. We also have this, and we have these meetings, and then I started finding more on Facebook too. Different groups locally and statewide. And then in the legal field I started finding people too that belong to some of these LGBTQ groups. You know, different groups. I connect with some of those and spoke with some. And so, it was like it opened up a whole new world I wasn't aware was there. You know, it was kind of under the surface. And now I look at it and I think, "why didn't I see it before?" Because they're everywhere, you know, we're in the news sometimes, especially if there's controversy on drag shows and all that. So... But yeah, it's before I wasn't aware they were out there. But now ... it's hard to say now if I'm just more aware of them, or that they're more visual themselves, you know. Had I not came out, had I not transitioned, would I'd still notice them to this degree. Because you have a lot of them standing up for themselves. You know, we won't be erased. If someone has an issue with the drag show or reading hour, you know, all of a sudden you start seeing it in the news. So, you're made aware of it. But I know about a lot of that even before it hits the news. 

Vignette 7: More Community Involvement

When I became chairperson, it was at the point where the P-flag chapter in Tri-Cities was going to dissolve because they had no one that would step up. I'm like, "I don't know how to do this," but some of the previous ones that had been President of P-flag, they kind of help me. They said otherwise we're going to have to close it down. So, I did that. But now I mean, it's just blossoming. You got regular board members, you have, you know, people are very active. I think at the time when I was involved, there was like five of us that ran it. And then at one point, they started dropping off. When I was co-chair, I think we got down at one point, 3 people, including me. But then from then it started blossoming again and now I think just on their board an the President, Vice President, there's probably like over ten people running it, plus you know, people who ... allies who help and such. So, you know, that was probably, that was probably about 2017. So yeah, we're 2023, so we would do the ... what they call each year, they call it The Badger Mountain Climb. Where we set up our booth in the park by Badger Mountain. It's a hiking trail. And, you know, people ... memberships, they donate their money. They sign up and pay a fee and they hike up there and it's gives more awareness of the, you know, LGBTQ community. Some of the events, the parades and stuff, they're more visual. They like, when they have the veterans parade, they're in that. They have their own little car and everything. I think the support groups have ... there's some that have branched off from that. Now they have the adult support group. They have the youth night for P-flag, so it addresses a lot of youth, too. So, it's it seems like it's just ... I think people have gotten more involved, you know, seeing the ... especially the last couple of years. Over this last year, just how there's been such an attack on transgender people in different state legislatures and all that, that more people just say, "I'm going to get involved. This isn't right." And I think that brought out a lot of the people you know some that are members and some aren't. Just allies too. So, and it was like even in this community, we had the climb, we have the youth night, we have the regular support groups. Like this Saturday, tomorrow, we have our pride in the park in Pasco. So, P-flag's gonna have their booth there and we've been working, they work with ... and with other groups too., so there's kind of a stronger connection there.