Vignette 1: Esprit  

Veronica Steed: When I first really came out as crossdresser, I was involved with a group here in Seattle called Emerald City, which was out for crossdressers and trans people as a safe group to come out to and they would host activities. They'd have a monthly meeting. But then there were always weekly activities like going out to dinner, going dancing, going bowling. And for someone who is new coming out, it was a great resource. And they have a yearly conference, transgender conference that's also for crossdressers that they do a lot in Port Angeles and that's called Esprit. And so, we all kind of met, with a similar age and we met and we all like the same kind of music, we were going out dancing a lot at the clubs in Seattle at the time. And I've been a musician since 1974 so I wanted to, like, I really think this would be fun if we could put together a band.

Vignette 2: The Makeup of the Band 

Veronica Steed: It started out where we were all of the LGBTQ community. But we didn't always have, like for all quite a while we had a woman who was a lesbian as our drummer. But she had to move on to California. We've had a straight guy be, several straight guys be our drummers.  So, the band has evolved over the years. It hasn't always been the same members, and currently the bands lineup is, we have three members of the LGBTQ community, and then two very accepting and kind straight people as part of our lineup, you know, it works. We still, we're still outrageous, we still go have fun.

Vignette 3: Esprit Talent Show to Port Angeles Bars 

Veronica Steed: I would say that we did, started doing the band thing, I guess, was that like 2003, Ginger, but we joined in late 97.

Ginger Li: Yeah, I'm looking over our history. 2003 was the first private show that we did at the Esprit conference. And yeah, that was the that was just an in-conference. That was the in-conference show that we did, yeah.

VS: It was the after the talent show, basically, wasn't it?

GL: Yeah, the talent shows would have just been like two or three individual people, not all of whom ended up in The Nasty Habits, either.

VS: Right.

GL: Those would have been for the first year or two prior to the actual Nasty Habits performing. The talent show at Esprit was just anybody who wanted to could get up there and do a lip sync or do a comedy sketch or try to play the guitar. It is both an opportunity to occasionally see some really good performers or just to see someone who has dreamt all their life of being on a stage, whether they know how to do anything or not.

VS: We found, we had done a lot of work, so we performed last because we had about 25 or 30 songs that we learned. And so, we performed last. Everybody else did their thing and then then we played. And it became the thing where we realized this was really fun and we could, why are we not doing this more, you know. We didn't right away, but we wanted to do it more. And it it took a couple of years before we, somebody from Port Angeles who owned the bar came and saw us at Esprit I think the next year. And she said, you know, you should come play my bar and we did. And it was, I still remember there was, it was crazy because it was a hot, stinky, sweaty bar and we were at the very back and there's no air conditioning. And people are dancing and having a great time and you're just like, wow, what the hell is going on here, you know, because we never expected anything like that when you go play a straight place, you know. And, you know, at one point, actually several points that evening the cops were there and we, you know, we get them playing and it's like 1:30 at night and, you know, there's people throwing up on the sidewalk and passed on the hoods of cars and just like a damn this is fun.

Vignette 4: Clubs in Seattle 

Veronica Steed: Seattle is a wonderful city to play in when you can get a show, but you're never going to get paid. But that was okay, I mean, a lot of what we were doing here was. I can remember several times we played at a place there called El Corazon, which is, we opened for a national act even three or four times there. And we're part of sort of larger things. And so, we play a short set like maybe 40 minutes or something like that and you just kind of go and quite frankly, you're doing it for the exposure. And we did. But we were used to seeing a lot of people, you know, out and about when we would go out clubbing and stuff like that and going to various clubs. And I remember pretty early on we played a show where we were sort of the musical act with a burlesque troop in downtown Seattle. And a lot of people saw us. That were sort of had shows to offer and things like. That was a really big deal. Was at the club called the Phoenix Underground that's long gone now, but it was a big deal. We played that show, and it got us a bunch of other shows and it got us noticed by a lot of people and it was really fun. And then we just had the courage, I think, to just go ahead and keep, you know, trying to do stuff, whether it was in Seattle or out on the Peninsula, you know.

Vignette 5: The Peninsula 

Veronica Steed: Going to the peninsula, going out that way, we played in Sequim at least several times. Once or twice, I think, outside of, there's a large casino in outside of Sequim, but we played in town in Sequim and that was sort of so-so because I don't think that we're quite ready for us. But then somebody from 7 Cedars Casino saw us in Port Angeles and said, come to play, we we love you guys, you know. And one thing I can always say is the band has always made the music. You know, as much as we've been ourselves, we have always really brought the goods when it comes to the music and everybody, you know, I always say it's kind of like when we're, when the bands playing, you know, it's like your time to swing the bat, you really gotta, you know, bring it. And so, we don't screw around when it comes to making music. We go play the show, we write a set list, we're totally professional about that. And we show up, we get our, we're not, we're not goofing around. We've got good equipment and we just do this. And I think that impressed the bar owner who originally had us in Port Angeles. And then, when other people saw us play, they were always like, you know, we don't, we don't screw around. We act like a professional band, and I think that impressed a lot of people. And to go to play like at 7 Cedars Casino outside of Sequim, the first time we got to do that, we were just it's such a large venue and it's a very professional atmosphere. It just made us play better even. And they gave us a lot of really good shows over the years. To go play their Halloween, for instance, and we did that quite a few times. You know, it was not unusual for there to be, through the course of the evening, probably 1200 to 2000 people who would be seeing our band. And, when I look at that and think back, you know, that this is something that Ginger and I and several other people did, all by ourselves. We made this band, we made this reputation and to have that many people come and see us and love us was it was, it's an amazing thing. It really is. It's a wonderful feeling to be able to go and make music that way and have people just enjoy it and not care, you know, who we are. But that didn't matter. We just made them happy, made them dance, made them drink.

Ginger Li: Which makes the bars happy.

VS: Yeah.

Vignette 6: Being Bigger Than Life 

Ginger Li: You know Veronica has this phrase that she's often used as as a way to try to coax us into being show people. It certainly makes for a better show, but it also has the side effect of bringing out a kind of courageous, pierce the mold kind of authenticity. And then what's the phrase? Being bigger than life. Yeah, Veronica uses the phrase being bigger than life. Because it is, you know, I think for queer people, by definition, we are, we are struggling against the the boundaries of life's norms as it seeks to impose them.

Vignette 7: Breaking Stereotypes 

Ginger Li: Boy, over the years, and just given the small-town nature of Port Angeles and Sequim, boy, we've made lots of really good personal friends in those towns. And it is part of the sense of having some roots there, even though we didn't come from there. It's packed down some roots. And then there's a lot of affection for the unexpected and kind of fearful stereotype breaking experience that I've had out there, just to have seen my my worst expectations completely fall flat on their face. And that's really confidence building. It you know for those. who can take that as a lesson, well, a lesson to learn from and advance as opposed to an exception.

Vignette 8: Beyond an All-Trans Band 

Ginger Li: Yeah, I would add that, in the early years, I had embraced the idea of the schtick that we weren't all trans bands when we first started. We drew all of our members from people who had been connected with Esprit in some way. And that certainly was a unique selling point. There were actual bands in the US that you could count on one hand that were all trans and some of them were just garage bands. Some of them did, you know, loud indie, metal music. We were one of the few that actually did popular covers and intended to play outside of mostly queer settings. And that was really launched by the success in Port Angeles. It kind of showed us what was possible. And over the years, because it is very hard to maintain a band with all trans members. People are too rare, too hard to find. And so, I came to understand and kind of advocated the idea that we did not have to be all trans. That was not necessary. Over the years, I can see that it's, in some ways, almost became a disadvantage because you know, there's, there is some meaning in role modeling the the mixing of peoples' backgrounds in some harmonious way, and no pun intended. And, you know, and if we can make that work in a challenging, physically intense, emotionally dependent, kind of the situation where we all count on each other to not lead the band into crashing and burning at any given moment during the night. You know, we make that work. And it's, I think that's a useful message to share, and I think it's one that I'm happy we've replaced the all trans message with one of a heterogeneous group of people of all different kinds of backgrounds, I mean.

Veronica Steed: And it feels good.

Vignette 9: First Show 

Ginger Li: That very first show, the very first weekend of shows we played at, I think we played at a couple bars. Obviously, no one in town had heard of us before. And it was really just the good graces of the bar owner, which was The Crazy Fish at the time, and it's gone through a few name changes over the years. That bar owner wanted us to be there and one of the things I learned is the power of leadership and authority in creating safe spaces. And to have the bar owner be the one who's championing our presence there. Pretty much sets the tone. It's different than if we were just to push our way in and make ourselves seen somewhere. It sets a tone; it sets an expectation that any patrons who aren't there on their generally good behavior. Throwing up is aloud, of course. But if decent behavior, they're going to be ejected by the management. So, that was reassuring, but still, you know, the guys were terrified and the women, you know, I can't necessarily guess what they were thinking. But it is a fishing and logging town, and you know people didn't get glammy in fishing and logging towns that many years ago. So, and all of that sort of fell by the wayside after, you know, the first hour of playing. People got drunk. The women got on the dance floor and the men couldn't resist. And then the rest is history.

Vignette 10: Bringing Something Different 

Veronica Steed: At first it was, for the band, I think, it was, hey, let's go play, Let's go make music. And we were, we were thrilled that we could. And people were surprised that we could. I think there were a lot of shows, especially in Seattle, where I can remember, we played someplace on the waterfront one time where it was a a country bar. And, you know, visions of chicken wire and people throwing bottles at us were running through our heads. And really that was, nothing like that ever happened. You know, we, it always was a good thing. And what what happened, I think, over time, especially going out to Port Angeles a lot was is that, we found I think that the there were kids in town who were gay, were cross dressers, were just you know different. They weren't the jocks and they weren't the straight kids and they came to sort of identify with us. And so they sort of embraced us. And I think a lot of the people who were of age to come and see a show at a bar, who were the goth kids, who were the gay kids and all that they came to like us and say, you know, wow, thank you for coming to our town. So, it sort of put us in the position I think of hoping these people at least be comfortable once in a while and what was otherwise a pretty, I'm going to say straight setting in some of these towns, you know. It's, you know if you're different in some way, you're going to probably be ostracized, you know, and potentially, you know, even come to some kind of harm. And so our shows, you know, and us going out there for Esprit and other times that we went it, it was like a chance for people ... they would come up and talk to us and say thank you so much for coming out and just, you know, bringing something different to our town. Honestly, that wasn't what we set out to do, but it is part of what the band did as we progressed and and got more comfortable and played more shows and that kind of thing. People would come up to us all the time and say how we, they appreciated us and and that we put, you know, some bright point into our life because we came out to their otherwise very focused town.

Vignette 11: Covid 

Veronica Steed: COVID was kind of a big deal for, I think, for us because we had played together, you know, basically we had gone 15 or 16 years where we were always trying to have a show lined up and be, you know, what's our next thing, what are we going to do or we're going to play on Halloween or Christmas or New Year's or whatever, you know, Valentine's Day, etcetera, etcetera. So we always had stuff going on. And to come apart on COVID, where it just stopped, was kind of strange. And in a lot of ways, it was, I wanted to keep playing, but we couldn't go play. So, it was nice to actually put our music down and I did. And started playing other things and that was kind of a nice thing to be able to do. Because I play the bass all the time. I want to sit down and learn stuff, but it was nice to say, okay, here's what we did and I'll come back to that at some point. But, well, let me do something else for a while, you know, and learn some other music and play some other music. And so Covid has been a good break and now that we're, you know, now we're gearing up to go back out and play after 3 1/2 years and I'm pretty excited to go back and do it.

Vignette 12: Returning After Covid 

Ginger Li: I really do want to get back into playing and, you know, from what we hear, the Peninsula audience wants us too. So, we're happy to oblige the, yeah, I'm not ready to give up on it yet. And I also really don't want to necessarily start over with a different band. I'm not quite even sure who that might be. Because like I said. I'm more of a violin player than a keyboard player. But yeah, my hope is that I can continue playing for a few more years with this band.

Vignette 13: Representing  

Ginger Li: And Veronica mentioned, you know, the kids that, you know, all they could do was squish their faces against sweaty windows and try to hear us from the outside. Some of those kids, they schmoozed with the attendees and they followed them back to the hotel and snuck in through part way open doors. And they found my room and they stuck a note under the door. And thanked us for being there. And, you know, I communicated a little later, with one of them and, you know, as a high school student who lives out in Forks, so way out there, way out there. She was very grateful, you know, both for the good intentions of her parents, who, you know, wanted their kid to grow up in a pastoral place. She also saw the pain that that caused for kids who didn't fit the mold. And she said, you know, for all the people at Esprit and the band, you know, thanks for coming and, you know, thanks for making our world a little bit brighter. So, yeah, there's a lot of need. And yeah, yeah, I think we're, I'm proud. I think Veronica's really proud to be a part of filling that.

Veronica Steed: Very much.